49. Navigating Giftedness & ADHD! Meet Alícia Couto
What if the traditional education system isn't just failing students with ADHD, but also those who are gifted? This week on Gifted Unleashed, we welcome Alícia Couto from Brazil, a twice-exceptional adult who navigates the complex world of ADHD and giftedness. Alícia opens up about her transformative journey, from her sister's initial research into ADHD to her own discovery and acceptance of her neurodivergence. She shares her struggles in college, often misattributed to personal failings, and sheds light on the pervasive underdiagnosis of ADHD in women, particularly those who are gifted.
Join us as we unpack the emotional and educational challenges that come with being gifted and having ADHD. Through my personal encounters with mental health professionals—ranging from validating to deeply frustrating—we underscore the critical need for the right support systems. Alícia offers a candid perspective on how traditional education often overlooks the emotional well-being of gifted students, focusing solely on intellectual capabilities. Together, we emphasize the importance of comprehensive support that addresses both intellectual and emotional needs, and the impact of a proper diagnosis on personal validation and family dynamics.
Alícia also takes us through her career journey, revealing the disillusionment she faced in the profit-driven engineering industry and the significance of developing soft skills. Her story is a powerful reminder of the necessity for workplace accommodations for neurodivergent individuals. Alícia's insights into alternative career paths, her sensory challenges in corporate settings, and the importance of community engagement make this episode a must-listen. We conclude by expressing our heartfelt gratitude to our engaged audience, encouraging everyone to stay connected by subscribing to the podcast and the Gifted Unleashed newsletter.
Would you like to work with me 1:1 as your gifted and 2e coach? Please send me an email at hello@giftedunleashed.com or find more information about my coaching offer on my website giftedunleashe.com/coaching
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Follow Alícia on Instagram @aliciatcouto (Personal Account) or @aliciacouto.english for English Classes
Email her for English Classes and Translation Services: aliciacouto.english@gmail.com
TRANSCRIPT:
Nadja: 0:58
Hello and welcome to Gifted Unleashed, where we talk about the gifted and twice- exceptional brain and how it affects our thinking and experience of the world differently. There are a lot of stereotypes and stigma around the term giftedness, and I'm here to challenge those. I'm here to raise awareness and to have a conversation around the topic of what it means to be a gifted and twice exceptional adult. Common experience among gifted folks is that they feel out of place. They don't quite fit in. They're too sensitive, too intense, too emotional, too overexcitable and too deep thinkers of the world and about themselves. So if you have been called too much of about anything, this show is for you. I'm Nadia. I'm too loud, too colorful, too bubbly, too bossy and I love to talk too much. So welcome to my world. I'm so happy you're here, too bossy and I love to talk too much. So welcome to my world. I'm so happy you're here.
Nadja: 1:48
Hi everyone, it's been a long time, but I'm so happy you're here and we have another amazing episode for you Today. We have Alícia Couto on the show and Alícia is joining us from Brazil. She is a twice- exceptional adult, she has ADHD and she's gifted, and she's going to tell us all about her journey, how she found out, how she learned the vocabulary, how she went about this and how it changed her life and what she's doing today. So I don't want to spill too much beforehand. So, without further ado, here's Alícia. Alícia, I'm so excited you're joining me on my podcast today.
Alíca: 2:24
Yes, thank you for your invitation, Nadja. As I said to you, I'm a really, really fan of your podcast, so I'm pretty excited to be part of that.
Nadja: 2:36
Oh, thank you so much, Alícia. And just for the listeners to know, so we met on Instagram. I reached out to you when I saw you're following my profile and then you were sharing with me a little bit in the DMs your story and I said, oh, that sounds so amazing. Would you like to share your gifted story on the podcast? So you're living in Brazil and so, yeah, we're having an interview across the globe. Yes, yes.
Alíca: 3:09
So I'm from Brazil, as you say, so I hope that I share a little bit of my experience from Latin America, right. But just a comment that I want to mention Brazil is a big country, right, so I will share here my personal experience. But of course, we have some professionals, who knows more? We have some in Brazil. But I think it is interesting, right to share a little bit about my journey here.
Nadja: 3:40
Yes, exactly so. Would you like to start with sharing a little bit your journey? You can start, you know, once you've discovered your giftedness, or you can also start prior and what led to your giftedness. It's up to you how you would like to share your story.
Alíca: 4:09
First, I will start with this story about how I discovered the ADHD, right, because I think it's an interesting story, because I think it says something about how women are underdiagnosed. You know, actually was because of my sister. So my sister is already married and my brother-in-law? He was diagnosed when he was a kid. So he knows since he was a child that he has ADHD, not that he received the proper support or accommodations, of course, but at least he knew about it right. So my sister, because she wants to understand him better, you know, like improve the relationship so she starts researching. So she entered in a hyper-focus mode Of course we didn't have that language at that time so she read a lot about it and then she realized that actually she had ADHD too. So a lot of makes sense because she had like some struggle when she was a child, you know, like with school and stuff, and a lot of things made sense for her. And then she got her diagnosed with ADHD. And then she came to me and said Alicia, I think you are too, I think you have ADHD too.
Alíca: 5:26
And it took some time to accept because I didn't feel like I was, you know. But she came to me because I have a sensory issue. You know, like I always was very sensitive to flight noise and everybody who knows me knows that right. And she said that people with ADHD has this thing too, and I already thought in the past that maybe I was autistic, for example, but I never went to discover. Of course, for example, when I discovered about introversion, it helped me to understand a little bit, but I don't think explain everything right, because I think maybe it was too much the sensitivity.
Alíca: 6:15
But I had a hard time to accept because the point is and I think this is interesting to talk about because in my case I didn't have problems with school when I was a child, right, until my 18 years old, I didn't have any problems. I was actually really good, I have really great scores, right. So for me it didn't make sense because I don't know how it is in other countries but, for example, here in Brazil, they say that you need to present the symptoms before you are 12 years old, and I think this is an important point to mention because for gifted mostly, sometimes it's not the case. For example, right or even other ADHDers don't have this experience and they think I am not because I need to show right, but it's not just because of grades right and score. There's much more to talk. So I had this resistance, but actually I start having problems with school. Let's say, when I entered college. I have a lot of problems in college.
Alíca: 7:27
I took much more years to graduate, for example. But I didn't think maybe it was because of this. I always thought it was maybe my fault. You know, I was not working hard enough. It's not this, not this, it's not it was, it was me, you know, like, uh, I never thought that time too, that maybe I had something. I always thought was me, you know. So she kept talking about it. Always.
Alíca: 7:53
She come and bring this topic again and again and I remember I saw a TED Talk from. I forgot her name, but it's a girl who has a YouTube channel called how to ADHD that talks about ADHD and her story was really like mine, because she starts struggle in college and starts struggle with the relationships to the social part of everything. So I went and and and accept and I got my diagnosis. I went to the psychiatrist and got my diagnosis and my when I started the treatment. I started treatment mainly with the medication, but I didn't have that time a therapist because of course I was frustrated with therapists and how old were you at the time when you got your ADHD diagnosis?
Alíca: 8:50
was. I was in the beginning of 2022. I was 30 years old. So I was 30 years old there, actually 31, sorry, 31, so it's pretty recent. Actually it's been two years that I have the diagnosis and so I started the treatment and my life changed tremendously. My work worked better.
Alíca: 9:16
At that time, I already was self-employed and I was working really hard on my business to make things happen and just putting effort, effort and not having much results as as like equal the effort. I was having results, but I was putting a lot of effort and I was not with much social life or friends because my energy was all to work, because work, you know, is most important, right? And after the treatment, when I started the treatment, things got better. I got more energy, because I always had a problem with energy. I was having already a situation with energy and chronic pain too and something like starts having like some answers like the ADHD can be an answer for this and so my energy improved and my life starts changing.
Alíca: 10:14
But something was not quite answered. Some things were not answered. Some things were not answered because sometimes I look at people with ADHD, for example, my family right, my brother-in-law and my sister, or even people on the internet and I didn't feel represented by them, because, seeing that something was off, because I saw that I struggle with things that they don't and they struggle with things that they don't and they struggle with things that I don't like this so something was and I still want some answers, and mostly my. What I want some answers was about my social life, interactions. What was happening, the my difficulty to connect with people Because, for example, when I was in college, I worked pretty hard in my social skills. You know like I learned a lot. I studied psychology, I even studied personality types, for example, to understand people and what happened was that, of course I I became good at this, but what I had was just one-sided relationships right, because I was there. Understanding people, and not necessarily people, was back to me, and I think this happens a lot. You try to fix yourself, but you still feel unfulfilled with the connections you have, and so I still was living this and I thought, when I received the ADHD diagnosis, I would correct this, because I thought it was something about the sensory problem. That's why I could not interact much.
Alíca: 11:59
But I started analyzing myself and reflect about what really happened in each situation, for example, the interaction that was good for me and the ones that was not. What happened there, right, and I noticed that mostly the most of the the time, it seems that I was not interested in some conversation or I was not engaged or not paying attention, but but these maybe actually uh feel bad about myself. You know, when I was there feeling disengaged, um, because I thought I me that is uh impatient, like something like that, and so I kept thinking. I remember sharing with my, my psychiatrist about it and he brought the thing about the autistic uh possibility. But we didn't search much.
Alíca: 12:57
But then I I found a short video of a psychologist from brazil and he he calls jean alessandro. He was in a podcast and in the short uh he explained was like a cut right, a cut from a big podcast. He explained the difference between a gifted ADHD and anxious person. So this video was shared in a Facebook group ADHD Facebook group and when I saw that video, a lot of makes sense because he explained the brain thinking, for example, and he talked about some struggles right people face and he mentioned the book of Paula Prober, that is, the Reinforced Mind, right. So I went straight to the book and I read like I read really fast, right, and actually I always say that what struck me with reading that book is how my challenges were all described there and how she knows so much about me, because a lot of things when she was explaining made a lot of sense. For example, the sensitivities, right, the ethics, how you care about the word problems and sometimes you feel even naive, right, because you care too much. Um, so a lot of things, uh, made a lot of sense and so it was really great to find her book.
Alíca: 14:39
And just a comment about this part of my my search right Is because I'm actually talking from a place that I'm I'm little privileged to know English. You know, because in Brazil I don't know if all the listeners know, but we speak Portuguese, right, but, like I even check the statistics, actually just 5% of population know English and just one percent is fluent. It's like a really like a really small percentage of the population that that knows. So I'm coming from a place where I think that knowing English was a really big privilege when I was searching for knowledge, because what I have, what I leave, for example, sometimes I want to share with someone the thing you know. I think you're gifted. But I have this problem of not being able to share good content, like profound content, because the person sometimes doesn't know English. For example, I already had, like, I talked, for example, with three people about it and one of these friends, she knows, so she went deep and read the book and listen to the podcast. And there's another, she knows English, but she doesn't read English. You know like, ah, you're're gonna make me read a English, english book. I don't know if I can handle, like, and there was one that I think was more, more sad for me because she didn't, she didn't know, she don't know English, she doesn't know English, so I could not share anything with her.
Alíca: 16:20
Because it's a lot of the journey of self-discovery is you, with your reflection, right? You listen to stories, you read and you reflect about it? It must be something that the person do with themselves, right? So I read her book, right? And I went to search, because I have this habit of listen podcasts. So I went to search, uh, her, on the podcast platform to find, to see if she, uh she, she was interviewed somewhere and when, when was. And this way was when I found your podcast. So it was really a great moment and since then, the podcast was a great part of my journey and this is that I want to say. Like that, I'm really grateful for your work for other podcasters Because of your podcast, for example, I found the other podcasts that I really enjoy listening.
Alíca: 17:24
For example, from Jennifer Harvin-Salling, there is conversations about gifted trauma, and Chris Wells from Positive Disintegration I think is the top three that I most listen and, of course, I already see you there, they here, etc. See you there, they hear, etc. But your podcast made me know other people that I was discussing about and talking about and this was, I think, very important, and mostly because I think it was something about my self-discovery, because I was there, because when you listen to a podcast, you're like a third person or the fourth person in the conversation. You are a little in the conversation, let's say this experience. So it was really great for me to listen to two or more gifted women talking. I think this was the most important part for me. I think this was very healing for me, even because I was being validated, I was being understood a lot and people sharing what I live is a really was a really important experience for me. And they say that listen podcast is a way to co-regulate in a way right, um, I was a really important experience for me and they say that, right, that put like listen podcast is a way to co-regulate in a way like right, because you, you're there sharing your experiences and so I, I, I read, so I continue reading and listening, and I went to to talk about my suspicion, right, with the professional professionals that was helping me.
Alíca: 19:02
That time I talked first with my psychiatrist and I think this was a good experience because my psychiatrist is not normal. Right, psychiatrists listen to us, but mine he listens. I even will talk that. I mentioned him here. Maybe he's this. I even will talk that. I mentioned him here. Maybe he is because. So I share with him that I was reading and listening to podcasts and stuff and he said, oh, it makes sense. So he validated my suspicion and he said that it was important for me to get an evaluation, to know more about it, right To be sure, right To see if there was something else, because was still the suspicion about the autistic possibility was there yet. So I think this was the positive experience.
Alíca: 19:59
But at the same time I was seeing a therapist not for long, but when I found her, I said, oh, I have a diagnosis of ADHD. I suspect that I am gifted. Do you have any experience with giftedness? Right, because I want to know this? And she said, yes, I have, and did she, but I think, did she? And she said, yes, I have, and did she, but?
Nadja: 20:22
I think Did she and did she have experience?
Alíca: 20:27
And let's see. I think what the experience maybe she has was just the most stereotype experience that is known, right, the physics genius, you know, like Sheldon Cooper, right, I think everybody who thinks about gifted think about him and again, I think this is very important to say, he is a man, right? So sometimes you can be like exactly like him, the physicist genius. But if you are a woman, you're not seeing like him, the physicist genius. But if you are a woman, you're not. You're not seeing like him. Even a therapist that I, I saw her live. She said that the gifted men are, I read, I perceived as brilliant, and the, the gifted woman, is perceived as difficult to deal with. So it's the one that creates problems and I think this makes much sense, but with this therapist. So I share my suspicion. But of course I was a little, I was, with my expectations, maybe not aligned, because I was reading about over-excilabilities and positive disintegration and I want to talk about it, of course, like we all want, of course I want to talk. I was and I and I remember was a moment that I read the book Living with Intensity, where I really understood a little. Of course I didn't read deeply about, but gave me a lot to think already, a lot to process. So I was having actually a catharsis because of this book, of course, but I was okay, I was actually happy, for I was satisfied to having the answers, to have the understanding. But I want to talk about right and make sense.
Alíca: 22:23
But then she didn't receive well, this obsession about and unfortunately, actually she was pregnant and she needed to go to a maternity leave. So we went we're gonna be in a gap for a moment, so it wasn't our last session and then she said things that was not not nice because was really invalidating, because she said that just the, that maybe I was too obsessed, I was reading too much, listen too much, and this, I think just this comment, is a point to comment. If you're dealing with a gifted person, how you say that they are reading too much, they're not supposed to read this much, how can you say this? Um, so she said and but she, but I was thinking about get a full evaluation anyway, but it's expensive. I think everywhere in the world is expensive. So I I was postponing this, I was not sure to take or not, and then she said that I was reading too much, that I maybe would forge the evaluation.
Nadja: 23:39
You would cheat the evaluation.
Alíca: 23:42
Evaluation as this would be possible. I don't know if this would be possible and this was very, very complicated because of course, it was a very invalidating, very like lonely moment and and she said, like that, maybe I was not gifted, probably, but I was autistic, not that this is a problem, but I was invalidated with my suspicion about giftedness, right, so okay, so of course I I listened to her because I think this is something that maybe gifted people do, because we are, like this, curious, so we search a lot and not always well received because of this behavior, like with specialists, but sometimes I really try to respect them, try to respect them. So, okay, I, even though I don't, I don't, agree with you, based when I think and I feel what I read, I will, uh, respect your, your opinion, because you are the professional here. So, I'm okay, I will, even though I don't, I disagree, but you're okay, you're gonna. You want to be treated as a specialist. You, you want my respect, it's okay, I will take what you said, even though she didn't say it in a good way, right, I have reasons to not be hurt with the comments, but so I went to get a full evaluation.
Alíca: 25:07
I was really anxious. I even did a lot of sessions in one week. For example, I scheduled two sessions per week to have the answer. It was the end of 2022.
Nadja: 25:22
And may I ask the evaluation you got? You were able to get it in Brazil itself, or did you do it in English, or how did it work? Where did you find support in this regard?
Alíca: 25:33
Yeah, I was in Brazilzil. Um, actually, in that these moments I already have found some, some professionals in brazil that talks about giftedness and I search. I found a psychologist and I started listening to her to see what she was really saying, to see if she was talking the same giftedness I was, and I remember I saw her page on Instagram and I saw that she follows Paula Prober, for example. She follows Paula Prober, she follows conversations on gifted trauma. I think she knows she's your person. Yes, she knows, so I talked to her. Actually, I said that I was searching for a therapist and an evaluation and then she gave me the contact of the clinic that I did. It's actually in another city. It's in the south, so it's another state. So I'm from Sao Paulo state, but the clinic is in Paraná state. So I did online. The clinic is in Parana state, so I did online.
Alíca: 26:33
Some psychologists say that we cannot do online, but it was a good thing for me to do online and to have an answer. But actually it was a full neuropsychology test and we thought about attention, memory too, not just the IQ. We had the IQ part, but we had the emotional. Let's say we talk about my story, my struggles about everything. I remember answering a lot of questionnaires, I think it was like eight sessions, and the point was, the thing I want to discover, right is that, if I was gifted or not, if I was really ADHD because some people say, ah, sometimes you're not ADHD, you're gifted but you get misdiagnosed and if it made any sense to be autistic too. So I had this hypothesis to to her like a search, and what she she discovered was I was gifted, yes, and adhd, but probably not autistic in her point of view, you know. And I think something is interesting to mention this evaluation, because I know that we try to talk about giftedness outside IQ, right, because we have other kinds of intelligence and we have all this emotional profile that we present.
Alíca: 28:03
But what struck me in my evaluation that I actually am the IQ gifted, you know, and I was feeling I feel a little of course, uh, I don't know what to expect, but I feel a little neglected by the education system because of it. Was this maybe? Was of course I was, you know, because I was the girl that was really good in math. You, you know, like I was really good in language, but I think everybody sees me like that I was a very dedicated, very responsible girl. That's why I got good grades. I even received a comment from a teacher that I was not really smart but, I, was very dedicated.
Nadja: 28:54
So more the high achiever type. They thought you were the high achiever and I think you mentioned something before we started our recording that you said there are two terms in Portuguese that kind of describe the giftedness and more the high ability Right, Describe the giftedness and more the high ability right. And so there's also a difference, I think, in the language and which would you like to explain a little bit more.
Alíca: 29:21
Yeah, yes, yes, so in Brazil, nowadays, we have two names for giftedness. That is, altas habilidades, that is high abilities, in translation, and another word is like super, super dotação, right, I think this is the same with spanish, you have some relation. So, actually, nowadays, they accept the two names and we even have, uh, actually we have a law, uh here about special education. That's uh, that's that have these terms and everything, because we have a lot to actually include, uh, like children with disabilities, children with, uh, with gifted, gifted children and autistic children, for example. Actually all the schools, even the public schools, are kind of obliged, obliged to have the accommodations. I think this law is from 2010,.
Alíca: 30:19
But I was already in college, right, and I know this too, and the funny thing too is that my mother is a teacher and she did the course to receive the gifted in their school, right, but I was already in college and, of course, we didn't have these whole profiles, the emotional profile. I don't think it was more about the interest and even the problems they create in class, for example, because of high energy. She says a lot about these kind of students, that they have a high energy and creates problems because of this, and sometimes they are actually gifted, they are really smart. But so we have these two names, as I said. But for example, there is a I think I don't, I'm not sure if she she's a doctor, I think she's a researcher that she differentiates these two names. That's saying that maybe high ability is not a way to describe, because high ability is something you can develop right If you put effort, like on this, and superdotação, right, is something much more as broader and we have the emotional profile to like the historic of the person is a whole different functioning. And she even say that we should stop talking about super dotação and start talking about o super dotado, the person, not just the, not they, just the giftedness, but the gifted. We need to talk about the individual. That is not because I think think it's the same here in Brazil than in other countries. We talk about. It's actually education that has this knowledge and they don't have the support for the emotional part of the gift, the psychological part. It's a lot about finding. For example, my mother explained that the course she did was something like this to find what they are interested in and give them the resources, the accommodation to search for these interests. So they just observe the gifted and try to help, and, of course, this changes according to the school, according even to the government, like the mayor sometimes change the investment and they don't receive. So it's not that because we have the law that all gifted people are receiving.
Alíca: 32:42
So I think so now, after my diagnosis, I know now some people who talks about giftedness, like some psychologists, researchers and they really trying to find to bring this agenda right Because it's something about health. It's like even one, I think, said that it's actually an emergency. It's a health emergency, not just mental health emergency. Oh, wow, because we are talking about, like many children and adults, right, oh, wow. But I think one thing is important to mention is, even though, as I said, I don't think all teachers have the training to receive or all schools have the resources to accommodate and even the therapists receive the training to deal with the children, the adults, still the adults not much like knowledge and and conversation around this. But I think I think is this the the day start and after the evaluation I got, I got finally the answer right, um, so I think was good to receive the answer to really like okay, now I validate.
Alíca: 34:10
I even was talking to a friend about this because she talks that she discovered herself as gifted, but she didn't get the, the evaluation because it was expensive. She was not the, the math and the math gifted, so maybe she will not go good well in in the IQ. And so we were talking about this. Sometimes it's not even maybe a good thing to get right, because I think for me it was because I have the validation for the therapist, for the doctor, for even the family show. Look, I'm different. Okay, this is the point. I know that here we have a lot of ADHDers because actually I have two sisters, younger sisters, and then recently the younger got the diagnosis of ADHD too, and it's funny because she was the hyperactive girl you know she got. So we have an ADHD family, but gifted, I think the most. The challenge of giftedness is me that maybe suffer most, so that's why I have this answer.
Nadja: 35:19
So you could relate to some of your family, but you could understand that there were some differences between you and your family. Yeah, I have a similar story, which is also. I believe most or some of my family has ADHD, whereas for me the giftedness comes on top. Um, but how did this also impact your career? I think you also through the whole the multi-potential Potentiality.
Alíca: 35:51
Yes, no, actually it affected a lot because actually I chose to study engineering. So I have a degree in electrical engineering because I was the math physics, the girl who likes that. But I also like languages. I remember I like languages, I like to read, I even was good in writing some some things. So I went this. But I, as I said, I have a lot of difficulties in college and I think was mostly about the ADHD, but about the giftedness too, because I was trying to find. I remember sometimes I remember these moments in my story.
Alíca: 36:39
I think I was very naive, you know, because I went to engineering. Really, my thinking, my feeling about engineering is that we solve problems, right, we are the problem solvers, we create systems to make life easier, but for people, you know, for I always had this, I had this vision that we solve the problems for the world or for the people, and not for the profit you know, like, like this. So when I I discovered actually was all about the companies and and I was I was always so frustrated because I want to talk with my colleagues about the environmental problems, the society problems, but I will. I was with engineers. So they always said to me, alicia, we should not worry about this, just do do your work. But I was having this existential crisis in my choice, you know, because I really think we need to solve the energy problem. I will solve the energy problem, climate change so of course, I got a little frustrated. So I think I feel a little disappointed with the degree there. But I continue studying and trying to think that maybe I had a role there to represent something or bring the conversation to the table.
Alíca: 38:11
But at the same time, I was trying to do other projects, like I uh, to develop different skills, because I want to be the, the engineer who has, like, uh, social skills. You know, I was not. I don't want to be the person who doesn't know to talk, for example, with people. So I try to develop myself in this and actually was a lot of effort actually to develop so many parts of you right at the same time. But of course, we want this and I think these projects made me develop some skills. That actually now is more important than my degree, because I needed to learn how to communicate better. I even like need to learn all the soft skills.
Alíca: 38:56
I think the soft skills the English was a part of this because I was part of organization that did a lot of exchange between students. So we bring students from Brazil and we go some other countries to do voluntary work mostly. I actually went to do my exchange program in Malaysia because I went to a really different country, a different culture, because I think this would develop us better. So that was the moment I developed the English part, because I went to talk with people from around the world. I was really excited. It was really stimulating. I even say that sometimes I am more extrovert speaking English than Portuguese because I think it's more stimulating for me to talk a different language because it's like. But then so I developed these skills, right, I think it was very important.
Alíca: 39:59
So I went to start an internship in a company where I had the international environment that I like and the technical part too, because it was an engineering related job, let's say. But I think I had a lot of difficulties and challenges in the corporate environment, a lot of difficulties and challenges in the corporate environment. At that time I already knew that maybe I was not a good fit for this environment, right, but I. So I was thinking about maybe going for to be a teacher, because everybody who likes to study I think he liked the idea of being a teacher is a way right, or even a researcher, right I think it would the idea of being a teacher is a way right, or even a researcher, right I think it would be even more stimulating.
Alíca: 40:47
But I think here in Brazil, unfortunately, we don't have much opportunities as a researcher. Actually, a researcher is not considered a job here. Sometimes it's like you receive a scholarship, it's like sometimes almost a minimal salary for you to live, to study. So we don't have much investment in our research, even though we have good universities, right. So sometimes you, if you become a researcher, you need your parents to support you, for example. And what happens? Most of us who goes, for example, some colleagues who went in this road. They found opportunities abroad. They will go to the United States, canada or even Europe. They found the opportunities in this and they go right. And so this was a little one of the ideas, but it's two ideas, many ideas.
Alíca: 41:41
But I don't know if the, the research would be a good fit, because I had a underdiagnosed adhd, you know I needed to study and I think I would have problems anyway. So but I went to a corporate, uh, like internship, so, but I think I think it's very important when we arrive at this kind of environment to know you're functioning, because maybe we could adapt more, because I think it comes both ways. We would like to have the accommodation parts from the companies, the workplace. I think we really need to talk about the accommodations in the workplace and I'm not sure how is this conversation in other countries? But what I feel is that somehow we're gonna get in a moment where we're gonna find accommodation for autistic adhd years maybe, but I don't see for gifted. You know, I'm not sure, I don't know, I'm not sure if it's, but I, I don't know, I would like to. If someone listening knows something that is going on someplace in the world about this. I don't think it's going to happen Because I don't know, some environments don't make much sense, I think.
Alíca: 42:55
But what I think is good, when you know your function, maybe you've developed the abilities to navigate your function. Maybe you've developed the abilities to navigate, because this is I think I saw a post saying that in our case, because the world is a chaos for us like this, we need to develop the abilities to navigate the world. This is our kind of our work to do. So I think in there I had some problems, for example with the sensory problem, something, the white light. That white light for me was really. It's funny, I think people that don't have sensory issues don't know what it is this.
Nadja: 43:36
No, they don't know, they cannot relate right.
Alíca: 43:39
It's so hard to explain why the noise is too loud, the smell is, and even the clothes because you need to use certain kinds of clothes sometimes, right, uh, sometimes you or, uh, maybe you're social or even in a technical job, you need some security clothes. And I had these two sides of the me, my experience, and I remember feeling very hot or sometimes very cold and and very uncomfortable with the clothes.
Nadja: 44:08
It's funny because just now I understand the clothes part this the clothes part for me, it's the shoes like for me if I think about like it. If you want to work like in a really like corporate setting where you have to have like the whole outfit, and then you have to have these nice looking shoes for women, and I'm like no, I cannot.
Alíca: 44:29
I cannot either. I cannot High heels, I don't. I don't do high heels, high heels, I don't do high heels Because it's the most comfortable thing ever. So I really like to use sneakers all the time, for example, or sandals in the hot weather. It's really. But I remember the sensory problem was something Stand still right In like eight hours. Sometimes you need to be back at the computer in eight hours In a white light, a lot of noise, how okay.
Nadja: 45:06
So I think people understand people understand, and I think what you did is you became self-employed, right you're? You're now an entrepreneur. Do you want to quickly share a little bit with what you do and you can do some advertisement? If somebody listening would need your services, you can also share and then we put also your link in the show notes so people can contact you if they want.
Alíca: 45:31
Yes, yes, so actually I became self-employed. So my idea was, I think the only way was to go self-employed and work from home. That time we didn't have this reality of remote work, right? So it was something a dream.
Alíca: 45:50
And because I really like to speak English and I like to teach, I became an English teacher. So I became an English teacher, mostly for people who want to develop the communication part of English. It is important in Brazil, like professionally speaking, and, as I said, we don't have much people who speak English. So I have a kind of a mentor program to develop English skills. I use TED Talks to discuss, so it's very stimulating. So, for example and actually the program can, anyone can do, for example, you don't need to be a Portuguese speaker to do, because most of the people are actually intermediary and want to develop the communication part. So I think it's open for uh, other people too, and maybe someone who's listening, who wants to develop. I don't know, we never know and you never know, you never know.
Alíca: 46:51
Yes, and I I'm trying to to uh to work with translation to translation, transcription, and one of the things that I'm trying to work on is maybe become a translator that has the specialty in the field of neurodivergence and giftedness. This would be my dream, actually. So if anyone hearing, like seeing my story, that how much is important the content arrive, if this is important for your business, if he's aligned with your vision, right, I can help with that, I would love to help with that because I think it's very, very important this content be accessible and the books be accessible, and I hope somehow to find my way in this. Uh, this work too right. So if anyone like I want this, I will give my contact right to to you to contact me thank you so much for sharing and, yes, maybe somebody wants their book translated into Portuguese.
Nadja: 47:59
We never know, you never know, hopefully, um, and yeah, uh, is there anything else that you would like to share, something that you think people should know, something you wish you knew earlier?
Alíca: 48:14
yeah, uh. Well, I think. First I want to to say that I think the work of the content creators are really important, so the podcasters, everyone who's talking about giftedness the first thing I want to say is very important. So continue doing that. And actually I think it is important to have a validation about this from the professionals, from the people around you.
Alíca: 48:45
So if you don't find in your family or friends, search people online to connect to talk about, and I think when you understand your functioning better, life gets much easier, even like professionally, relationship wise. I would say that my life transformed tremendously in like friendships, all the relationships changed. I I really I think I'm a much more confident person because I know this is me not. We still need to develop the abilities to navigate, but never navigate this world, because not easy is not easy for sure, but at least we knowing we can have these strategies, the strategy even to find people. I think this is what most changed my life. I have these strategies the observations to find other gifted people, for example, and this was really great for me the observations to find other gifted people, for example, and this was really great for me.
Nadja: 49:51
Oh, thank you so much for sharing and, yes, I can just echo what you said, like the transformation that comes after you understand yourself better and just understanding yourself and understanding others and why other people react differently, and navigating, and now, looking back, I guess you know why you didn't fit into the corporate world. All of this just gives you. As Julie Skolnick says, with understanding comes calm. This inner calm is really great. So, thank you, alicia, for sharing and, yeah, thank you for being here, for also responding to my message and for being generous and sharing your story. So thank you so much.
Alíca: 50:37
Thank you. I'm really glad that I can share and contribute somehow to the podcast or to the gifted in general. Thank you for the invitation too. Bye, bye.
Nadja: 50:51
I hope you enjoyed this episode and you learned something new. And if you did, please like, subscribe and leave a review. And if you feel like somebody else that you know could profit from this, please send them a link to this show. And if you want to learn more, you find everything at giftedunleashedcom and you can also subscribe to the newsletter there, so you will always be up to date for new things that are coming, and all the information that we mentioned today in the episode will be on the show notes for the episode. So everything is right there for you and, with that said, I wish you a wonderful day and I see you next time. Bye.